


After the world has fallen

by Jura_lyn



Series: I'm leaving tomorrow morning [11]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Dark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mentioned Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Sam | Awesamdude, Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Panic Attacks, Teacher Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29166465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jura_lyn/pseuds/Jura_lyn
Summary: He just wants someone to ask him if he's alrightMaybe he is going to take his teacher's offer to talk, even if it's 2 amIdk how to describe it.
Relationships: TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: I'm leaving tomorrow morning [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986931
Comments: 11
Kudos: 194





	After the world has fallen

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Dark thoughts
> 
> enjoy I guess?
> 
> vent fic, don't expect anything

Tommy feels like he can fall asleep any second now. He didn’t do his homework, but the teacher didn’t ask him for any answers luckily. Mr. Watson was always kinder when it came to him. Other teachers saw a trouble maker and didn’t try to see the broken boy beneath there. He sighs and looks up to the board. He isn’t following what the teacher is saying anymore.

He looks at the clock, only to notice it being time already. He packs his bags, just like everyone else around him was doing already. He’s about to leave class when he hears Mr. Watson call his name. Tommy looks back at his teacher.

“Would you mind staying for a second?” He has a kind smile on his face. Tommy nods and turns around fully. He waits for Mr. Watson to say anything. Mr. Watson sighs and leans on his desk. “How have you been?” Tommy expected a scolding for not paying attention at all in the class, so he was quite surprised.

“‘m doing alright,” Tommy mutters quickly. He hopes Mr. Watson would leave him quickly, so he could go see Tubbo. Mr. Watson nods, seemingly lost in thought.

“I saw you had a bit of difficulty concentrating today,” He begins, his voice as soft as ever. “Any reason?” Tommy really doesn’t want to talk about this with his teacher.

“I’m just kind of tired,” Tommy lies. Half lies, he hasn’t slept well in a while, but that’s not the main reason. 

“Well, if you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, you can always talk to me. My address is in the system” Tommy nods. He thanks his teacher quickly before walking out of the classroom. That was kinda weird. He knew that teachers were supposed to be concerned about their students, but not a lot of people really are.

His teachers wouldn’t notice him vomiting in the middle of class. And if they did, they would say he’s pretending to be sick so he doesn’t have to be in class. He may have done that once, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t always that way. 

Still confused, he sees Tubbo. His smile grows and he waves with a big grin to the boy. Tubbo waves back. They’re quick to end up in a joyful conversation, just like they always do. He doesn’t think about his teacher’s offer anymore.

Until evening fell. His thoughts were pretty quiet when he was around Tubbo. Tubbo’s aura made his demons go away for a while. It’s one of the reasons why he’s still best friends with him. He’s sitting down on the couch next to his parents, scrolling on his phone. His parents were watching some shit about a YouTuber buying some big house they could only dream of. 

Their parents went upstairs to sleep quicker than Tommy would’ve liked. He sat alone in the dark room, only his phone illuminating the big space. He decides to watch Ranboo’s stream. He did quite enjoy watching him. Something about his streams was so calming to Tommy. The dream SMP lore of Ranboo visiting Dream played in front of him. He wasn’t 100% focusing on the stream though.

He gets pulled out of his thoughts when Sam starts to talk with Ranboo. Tommy always liked how Sam became the dad of literally every minor on the server. When Sam asked Ranboo if he was okay, his voice full of concern like they weren’t roleplaying some Minecraft lore, and Ranboo answered with a broken no, Tommy breaks.

He doesn’t know why this scene breaks him, but he burst into tears. No one ever asks him if he’s okay. Not genuinely. He wants someone to ask him that. He wants to tell someone, I’m not okay. He throws his phone away and he puts his hand in his mouth, hoping to silence his heavy sobs.

Every bad thought came back in a heavyweight. He feels the urge to scream. He wants to scream and never stop screaming. He wants to take a knife and cut until the pain in his heart dulls. He wants to hug someone and never let them go again. He wants someone to ask him if he’s alright.

He wants everything to go back to three years ago, where he didn’t need to stress about school. Three years ago when he still looked to the world with a kind of innocence, like he could take on the world. He hates everything about himself. He hates his body and his thoughts. He hates how he’s fat and he hates that he could ever think that.

Mr. Watson crosses his mind. His kind smile, asking him what’s going on. Telling him he could come to him anytime. He remembers the concern in his eyes when looking at Tommy who could barely open his eyes.

He realizes how much he does need to talk about it. He wants his thoughts to stop spiraling. He wants to stop crying every single night. He wants to stop closing himself in, sitting behind his desk all day playing Minecraft.

He stands up, tears still falling freely. He takes his phone and looks up Mr. Watson’s address while he puts his shoes on. He opens the door and closes it behind him, the cold wind stabbing in his face. He forgot to put a coat on, but he doesn’t care. He needs to talk to him, he has to.

He puts his google maps on and is relieved to see his teacher’s house barely five minutes away from his own house. His thoughts darken again as he walks, the cold doesn’t help him. The roads are empty and almost half of the street lamps are broken. 

He’s in front of the house quicker than he would’ve liked. He doesn’t think this was a good idea. His teacher probably wasn’t serious about the offer. He looks at his phone. It’s 2 am. He probably won’t be awake anyway.

He rings the bell anyway. What can he lose? 

The door opens quicker than he thought. This gives him less time to prepare what to say. Shit, what was he going to say? “Tommy?” Tommy snaps his face up to his Teacher’s tired voice standing in the door frame. He looks something between concerned and confused, which Tommy can’t blame him. “Are you okay?” There was the million-dollar question. The question Tommy has wanted anyone to ask him. The thing that broke Tommy before, and will break Tommy again.

“No,” His voice is tiny and scratchy. Mr. Watson seemed even more concerned, inviting Tommy inside quickly. Tommy collapses almost immediately once he’s inside. Phil doesn’t expect this, and can barely save Tommy from falling face down on the floor. They sink to the ground, neither of them saying anything.

“Can you please tell me what’s going on?” His voice is urgent. Tommy looks up, he doesn’t know if he can do this. He doesn’t know if he’s ready. He takes a deep breath.

“The voices in my head are so loud,” He begins. Tears are still streaming down his face, he notices. “And I just can’t take it anymore. I hate myself for days if I get a bad grade, but I can’t make myself study, no matter what I do,” He hates this. He can’t let himself be vulnerable, not in front of his teacher who he’ll have to face for another year.

“And I hate myself if I eat, I’ll feel terrible all day. I feel disappointed in myself if I gain weight. Everyone tells me I look like a breadstick, but I can’t see it. I only see a fat boy who only thinks about himself,” Tommy rants, his cries getting louder and louder “And I can’t stop these stupid lies my own head is telling me, I don’t know what’s true and what’s not anymore,” He doesn’t dare look up at Mr. Watson.

“And I can’t stop thinking about hurting myself, about taking the god damn kitchen knife and just,” Tommy can’t finish the sentence “But I hate myself for thinking like that. I mean, I had an amazing home growing up, I don’t have a reason to be sad, and still, I am. I just don’t understand anymore,” 

Silence fills between the two. Tommy doesn’t know what to say anymore. He feels himself hyperventilating. “I just wanted someone to ask me if I was okay,” Tommy mutters. He looks up scared for Mr. Watson his reaction. 

Mr. Watson looks at him with wide terrified eyes. Tommy looks back at the ground. He shouldn’t have come here. He’s just bothering the man. He probably just wanted a good night's sleep. He’s about to stand up, wanting to bolt out of the house when Mr. Watson embraces him in a hug. 

The hug feels weirdly comfortable. He knows his teacher is whispering things to him, but he can’t focus, lost in the touch. They pull back, but the concerned look hasn’t left the older yet. “We’ll get through this, alright?” He says, looking at Tommy in the eyes. “You’re not alone anymore,”

Tommy kept crying at the thought of not being alone anymore. He had to go through this for years alone, but he doesn’t have to anymore. “T-thank you,” He whispers quietly. Mr. Watson smiles at him like he did when they were in class, kind and caring.

“Uhm, dad?” A boy with brown fluffy hair, seemingly a year or two older than Tommy, is standing in the living staring at the pair. He seems uncomfortable in the situation which Tommy can’t help but agree with. It’s pretty uncomfortable. “What’s going on?” Mr. Watson sighs.

“I’ll explain in a minute alright?” The boy nods and walks back up to his room. Mr. Watson looks back at Tommy “Are you alright with sleeping in the guest room for tonight? I’m not comfortable with letting you go home right now,” Tommy looks up at his teacher. Why would he do that for him? He isn’t only using his time, but also his space. “I don’t mind,” He reassures when he sees Tommy’s hesitation.

Tommy nods with a smile. The guest bedroom was fairly small, but it was more than enough for Tommy. After giving Tommy some oversized pajama’s, Mr. Watson leaves him be, probably going to talk to his son.

Tommy lays on the comfortable bed. He’ll be alright, he knows he will. He slept better than he had in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't going to write anything for a few days, but I had the feels you know.
> 
> The 'Are you alright' from sam did break me
> 
> on the other note, I started reading Harry Potter :)


End file.
